Wildfire

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting and I’ve realized that the majority of my life I have lived so as to please others. Not in a people pleaser way though. I enjoy helping others but am usually too lazy. That’s definitely something I have to work on. But that’s not what I’m talking about here. What I mean is putting others opinions of myself and life ahead of my own opinions of myself and my life. Which has resorted to me living my day to day life as mundane and unexciting as you could imagine. I believe to have true joy…You need to find that within yourself and not in others acceptance of you or your ideas. There’s something incredibly freeing in finally having the realization that all I need to do to change my life and live with purpose is something I’ve had all along, and that’s myself. Today is as good a day as any to start living, not just existing. I do however have to clean my house because my mother in law will be here tomorrow and I still have responsibilities that can’t be neglected but I’m not talking about the tasks of day to day life. I’m talking about the way I will start perceiving this world we live in. I’m going to look for the good in everything and everyone. I’m going to smile more. ( I usually look down when I see people so as to avoid all eye contact which may turn into any type of communication…I know its a scary thought) I’m going to feel beautiful in the body I have while working on living healthier. I’m going to chop all my hair off because I want to and not keep it long because my husband doesn’t like short hair. I’m going to sing when my favorite song comes on no matter who can hear me and I’m gonna dance like no ones watching. Yes that is such a cliché thing to say but all the more reason to give it a try. I’m going to try new recipes and new activities with my family. I’m going to read more to myself and my kids. I’m not going to beat myself up if I’m running late or forget to pick up Milk at the grocery store. I’m going to finally take the time to learn about the things I find interesting  such as herbalism and gardening. That might take some extra work, because I was definitely not born with a green thumb. I’m going to turn off the TV and instead of watching other people live their lives on Reality TV…I’m just going to live mine (Of course that will have to wait until Big Brother is over) I’m going to live like a Wildfire….Spreading my energy and love to everyone I come into contact with.  That is what I intend to do starting now. I’ll chronicle this new adventure I tend to take and share with all of you. For it is even more beautiful to experience the journey together. I hope we can all learn to let go of the small unimportant things and cherish the precious things. This will be hard for me, since I’m kind of a hermit but that’s no way to live. Time to get out and have some new experiences! To being Led Astray by this wonderful thing we call life! But first..I’ve got to clean the damn kitchen.